How To Get ADQ’d: Most Over-the-Top Facebook Faux pas.

Posted: February 1, 2011 in Uncategorized

While I have consciously shied away from following a strict formula for how I make cuts, it occurred to me that there were a decent number of facebook faux pas that would virtually automatically warrant a “friend” getting a quick click of the un-friend button. In college sports, when a team wins their conference tournament they automatically qualify for the NCAA tournament. “We got the AQ bid,” you’ll hear athletes or fans say. On 500FF, certain things will get someone automatically disqualified or ADQ’d, warranting an instantaneous removal from my friend list. I foresee this list expanding as I begin to observe more and more unfortunate trends on the book, but here are some of the most glaring that I’ve noticed over the last bunch of years on the site.

*Under favorite music, the phrase “anything but country” appears without any hint of irony.

*You’re still commenting on people’s pictures, status updates, etc with the expression “That’s what she said.” Just for the record, I’m not even sure Steve Carrell could make me laugh with that line anymore.

* You have more than three separate photo albums chronicling your experience at one or more Dave Matthews concerts

* You are more than two years removed from high school, but the quote “I live for the nights I’ll  never remember with the girls I’ll never forget” still appears in your quotes section.

* You regularly donate your status update to “a cause larger than yourself,” encouraging your friends to copy and paste your own status as theirs for “just 24 hours.”

*You hold conversations in excess of 15 different posts with the same person who commented on your wall.

*You play Farmville.

*You actually took the time to make fun of someone who plays farmville.

*On more than one or two occasions, you’ve written “dislike” in response to someone’s status update.

*You’ve joined a group that told you that if some absurdly high number of other people joined the group some absurdly ridiculous thing would take place, knowing full well that it wouldn’t.

*At least once a week, your newsfeed again informs us that you’re hungover, at the gym, or both.

* You actually post a status update that refers to what you’re doing (exceptions can be made for specific and unique events that don’t occur regularly).

*You complain about work regularly.

*After losing your phone, you tried to get your numbers back by creating an event, inviting every single one of your friends, and making the event last for two months, thereby ensuring it would never be removed from your friends’ home page when they checked to see which actual events were coming up.

*Your facebook has nothing to do with you and everything to do with your baby.

New Cuts coming within the next few hours…

Please leave your own facebook faux pas in the comments section. Follow on twitter @500fewerfriends. E-mail 500fewerfriends@gmail.com

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Comments
  1. sbressler says:

    Small tip based solely on the way I (and perhaps others) read, since you’ve taken a liking to using acronyms: Always put the acronym in parentheses the first time you use it. I was scanning for ADQ in parentheses in the first paragraph to then look at the words immediately preceding it to make sure I assumed the acronym’s meaning correctly, but didn’t find parentheses anywhere.

    JMTCW

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