Day 1 Continues With More Cuts: The Earlier, the Easier

Posted: January 27, 2011 in Uncategorized

My goal is to cut an average of 10 people over a 50 day stretch. I am aware, however, that this task will grow markedly more difficult in its later stages, so if I can axe more people up front, the hope is that I’ll be less tortured towards the end. Without further ado, here are the brief bios of the newly eliminated.

I spent a summer on Cape Cod after my freshman year of college. I rented a house with six childhood friends. None of them will be cut, but their life-guarding co-worker from six summers ago just got thrown off my facebook island. She was cute and nice, but we hadn’t talked in a long, long time and Zuckerburg’s playground informed me that she is in a serious relationship.

Ex-GF’s pal who wouldn’t have been cut, except that her profile consists of nothing other than her e-mail. I believe I have her phone number, so if I need to speak with her, I should be covered. She would have had a decent chance making the final 1,000 too so it was nice to de-friend and not feel guilty.

Next to go was the college boyfriend of the friend I visited in Memphis (see previous post). We rushed a frat together 5+ years ago. He took the bid, I didn’t and joined another house. He was one of those seemingly apathetic, yet brilliant kids who did a lot of drugs and somehow majored in like theoretical physics. Wish our limited contact hadn’t ended, but it did, so he’s gone.

A friend’s friend from study abroad. This appears to be a common theme. Apparently, they didn’t leave a terribly lasting impact.

I worked on a prominent senatorial campaign five summers ago. On the final weekend before the primary, the candidate enlisted the support of a cohort of volunteers from AIPAC, Israel’s major American lobby group. These interns were sweet kids and a few friended me. One of them was from a jappy suburb of Detroit and had grown dreadlocks. She had that rich kid happy swag down pat and I sort of admired her ability to maintain that vibe at a straight-laced organization like AIPAC. We never talked again, though, and I don’t think she has that hair, so photo stalking would seem futile at this point. Plus, anything I can do to make peace with the tragedy that was my time on the Joe Lieberman campaign is helpful.

Speaking of Jews, I also got rid of the former President of my first college’s Hillel (on campus Jewish organization) as well as the Hillel facebook page from my second college and the brother-sister pair that formed the most formidable semitic sibling duo of my hometown. I’m not a self-hating Jew, I swear. Two other people with berg in their name got the boot; I hadn’t talked with either in years. But lest you think I’m an anti-semite, I cleansed myself of countless Gentilian influcnes as well. Little League teammate who went on to be one of two boys on the field hockey team? Gone. Flamboyant gay kid from high school who abhored gay marriage and considered himself a devout conservative? He’s also a goner.  An extra who I shared the stage with in a HS musical? Peace. So are my buddy’s neighbor, a sweet girl with an Italian last name who I played youth basketball with too. I liked her, but we haven’t spoken in ages. That one I felt bad about, however.

I could go on but dinner is calling. More cuts to come.I’m down to 1482 and I started the day with 1513. Let the cuts continue….



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